3. Half price appetizers after 9 and I just need that pre-packaged frozen boneless wing fix.

I'm not talking about the content, I'm talking about an objective fact that Trump did or didn't relay a specific message in a prior press conference. Again, I agree that Trump is horrible, but it's just fundamentally wrong to claim he didn't say something which he unquestionably did.

Goodwill really wishes you would stop trying to donate those.

This season is going retro Alex Jones with him being a 9/11 truther.

She must be an expert in…. ALIEN DNA!

It seems to be a frequent problem for them and only them. If AC was doing it that makes at least four confirmed instances.

You must have missed the day where they kept on giving Long Islands to kids. You probably would have had a better experience.

If they merged with Hooters or Twin Peaks and they could secure a 1.5 trillion dollar stimulus package from Trump for their hardships.

Well, their new slogan is "Eat our breadstick sandwich or go to hell!"

Is Pony Express still operated by US Mail? If yes, you'll get your copy once the weather clears and the snow is removed from the treacherous mountain passes. Expect them by next June.

Goes great with the 20 pound bags of shit inducing sugar-free Haribo gummy bears.

I like the obscure clips they dig up for the studio audience shots.

Syringe Pit! Guys, Saw II has a SYRINGE PIT!

I'm going to petition that this quote be the positive marketing blurb in the show description. Maybe toss this disclaimer at the end.

Right? I pay a premium for a primetime parking space for the thing already.

Going outside at any point in your day is a privilege, not a right!

What the hell is a courtroom friendly picture? Is this AV Club article going to be admitted as evidence?

The hell if I'm buying a custom filter for my periscope.

Not buying it, that requires those same 1/3 of people to understand the concept of gravitational orbits. The questionnaire was probably leading those people on with loaded questions.

How about a telescope? Can I use that?