I'll try to give you an attorney's perspective as to why she will likely fail. Lawyers don't like to speak in absolutes, but we use our training to understand people and their circumstances to determine the realistic odds of them achieving a desired result.

Gretzky has a daughter old enough to fuck. I'm old.

That's great that she has such high aspirations. She's got no shot to reach them outside of some gimmicky gig with the ACLU, but good for her. I had to build my brand after law school through hard work. She's trying to do it by being humiliated and getting cock shoved down her throat.

Let's have a line-up.

Power dynamics! Was waiting for that bullshit to show up! You guys never disappoint. Eat shit.

"From night to night, odds are Clyde Frazier is best thing going during any given Knicks telecast."
You can't make it through your first fucking sentence without an error? Seriously? Did you type this on your iPhone while taking a shit? Be a goddamned adult and check your fucking work. People are reading this.

This makes no sense. I'm a criminal defense attorney who practices in Atlantic county. It can't be that the grand jury indicted on a more serious charge than the prosecutor wanted in this case. If it was simple assault it would not be presented for indictment at all. They only present indictable offenses and simple…

This makes no sense. I'm a criminal defense attorney who practices in Atlantic county. It can't be that the grand jury indicted on a more serious charge than the prosecutor wanted in this case. If it was simple assault it would not be presented for indictment at all. They only present indictable offenses and simple…

Shouldn't he change his last name to Jaccson?

Helps to justify cutting their leading receiver from last year as a cost-cutting measure.

Why does his acquittal automatically mean the justice system failed?

Shouldn't this be filed to "Rape! Rape?"

Apparently the jury thinks this woman lied. But I'm sure you know more than the jury that heard all the evidence in this particular case.

As bad as this is, it's better than Skrillex.

Relax man, it's called sarcasm.

I just read the AP story. The difference between an actual journalist and a blogger is apparent even when a journalist is talking about a video game.

Something something rape apologist. Just because he was acquitted doesn't mean he's innocent.

He's got this.

Looking forward to the follow-up article "Shut up about grammar and spelling".