This is how zombies are made.

If you have to put something on your dessert to make it taste better, it's not a dessert. It's a cracker.

It doesn't help that they are using a pose people use for Christmas photos at Sears.

As a lawyer, I can assure you we are more than capable of saying just as much dumb shit as anyone else.

I want Falen to be autistic.

"Just because you hear Compton, you hear Watts, you..." Hear a guy who is either a total psychopath or juiced up.

Y u such a h8er?

That's a long way to go.

You have to excuse Bouchard for flipping out and calling out her opponent and saying she's the best in the game and if you go up against her she will make you pay. I mean she did just win a huge tournament. Oh, what? She didn't do that? I thought all athletes acted like dickheads after a big win.

Everyone else involved in any of the games played this week, last week, etc., black or white, was able to act like a normal fucking human being after winning or losing a game. This fucking maniac is not able to control himself because he won a football game? I've heard 911 calls where people were more composed. But…

Alex, is that you?

I think a lot of people are ousted because Sherman actually doesn't like Crabtree. I think we all envision these guys talking smack on the field and then hanging out together, almost like wrestling. But here's this guy who honestly doesn't like that motherfucker.

I'm fairly certain Bill Romanowski would've been ripped also.

Because everyone loved Favre so fucking much.

So I dreamt about all the jokes in Deadspin about Darren Sharper's arrest for sexual assault?

As long as he knows who Piers Morgan is, I don't think it's critical to know who the other person is before saying the impression was bad. You know, since it's an impression of Piers Morgan. Now, if Piers Morgan was doing an impression of the other guy who he didn't know and this person said the same thing you would…

So you are doing nothing. Got it.

Ok, so we both know what white privilege is. Besides coming up with cousin fucker (which is lame) what are you doing about it?

NOFX has amazing lyrics. Fat Mike is brilliant.