I’m 32 and all these new rappers whose names start with initials suck. Like think about dudes like this compared to say The Lox. I do this thing where I make myself listen to a new rapper like once a week on my drive to work. Because I started to feel like “all these new rappers suck, get off my lawn”, so I felt I…

You’re still solid. One thing is not the other. For example:

Guillotines in Central Park.

Aunt Becky: “I just wanted so badly what was best for my child. I guess I took it too far.”

Audience: Awwwwwwww..... *sappy music begins playing*

Danny Tanner: Aw, Beck... It’s not about the name on the college diploma. It’s about knowing, wherever they go, your kid did the best they could.

Aunt Becky: “Thanks, Danny...…

What unwitting kids? Many of them actively posed with their water polo gear or rowing machines. And even if the parents helped change their board scores or photoshopped their headshots into athletes behind their backs, the kids should’ve known something was afoot when they got into a school after failing Art History…

I don’t feel bad for the kids at all. They had every possible advantage in life (including parents who were filling to commit crimes on their behalf) and they still couldn’t get accepted to decent colleges? Cry me a river.

She’s going from Full House to The Big House!

I usually don’t like to pass judgment on 19-year-olds, but holy hell is Olivia Jade tempting me. I didn’t know that she existed half an hour ago, and now she’s skyrocketed up to Martin Shkreli-levels of insufferability.

So, since Lori Loughlin is involved, is it fair to say that this scandal is everywhere you look?

As someone who went to USC, and has USC alums through his family tree, I will say that their involvement in this scandal surprises me not at all. This kind of shit has gone on for the university’s entire existence. I think the reaction of most people familiar with things there would be, “Wait, this was a secret?”

TIL that rich and famous individuals have cheated and bribed to get their kids into the best schools. What societal institution is next? Soon, we’ll find out that rich parents kept their kids from being drafted to Vietnam in the 60s/70s...

Rich people need to learn that the wealthy truly do not need to give a fuck about their little people problems.

Authorities just released a photo of the two guys William H. Macy met with to start this process:

Pancreatic cancer is hard to detect at an early stage—what symptoms you may experience could be mistaken for other illnesses, and doctors can’t feel around for it like they can check out your heart, lungs, thyroid. It’s usually not treatable by surgery (because of how close it is to other important vessels and organs,…

Why couldn’t it have been Pat Sajak?

What is “really fucking depressing”?

Guys, I’m starting to think there may be something wrong with him. I can’t imagine what might have happened to put him in a cognitive position in which he thinks this stuff is fine.

Looking forward to the “Who is the oldest person you have ever sexually assaulted?” questions at next year’s combine.

Also, Carl Winslow Jr. is judging him real hard in that picture.