“And once we get it done, and then we can have the chance to really explain it.”

Bold move to dribble out the game down 3, let’s see if it pays off for him.

Well, if nothing else, your mention of “parlay” gave Al Michaels his first erection in weeks.

New rule: Umpires get zero. You get zero ejections a year where you get to send somebody packing for saying some wild shit to you. You can still eject a pitcher for headhunting, and if a player is delaying the game and continues to jaw after a warning, then you can toss him, but no more pretending you’re the big…

Anyone who is appalled by the tone of this email is adorably inexperienced when it comes to receiving emails from the executive leadership down to middle management and below. The genre is always self-congratulatory and filled with ‘team wins’ that mean nothing to the recipients, but the execs feel like ‘sharing the…

Not really clear on what they expected him to say? I mean, he says, “Hey, folks still working at US Weekly, this is going to be really good for you and the people who have acquired you are good people to work for,” and he says, “Hey, folks who are still working with us, don’t worry, this is part of a bigger plan…

No lie, that sounds like Donald Trump tweeting from Deeley’s account.

I hate Lebron, but he would take this guy’s lunch money. Weak ass take bro.

What cracks me up about this argument is that Lebron would be able to handle the Bad Boy Pistons better than damn near anyone in the history of basketball. So, sure, they might put him on his ass a time or two. He’d also frustrate the shit out of them because he’s just bigger, stronger, faster, and smarter than…

Why would you want someone to commit a possibly injury inducing foul? It seems to me you very much enjoyed the Piston style of shitass play. You’re a fucking idiot.

Oh, I forgot one notable other alum:

Umm I’ve never had a dog slow traffic because it’s his road too. I’ve also never had a dog speed up into my blind spot while I’m in the turning lane, with my blinker on and act like I’M the asshole.

In a debate between cyclists and dog owners about entitlement to public space, who would be the most insufferable? Whichever one is a vegan and/or crossfitter, I assume.

Texans: What would it take for you guys to be interested in a quarterback that’s a bust?

did you see who we made president or

Can I just remind you that the original reason they got a reality show is because a morbidly obese white trash mother had a morbidly obese white trash family and specifically a fat rednecky child who entered beauty pageants and people enjoyed laughing at them? What a time to be alive.

Worked for Trump.

...and faces zero consequences. “Rule of Law” ya say?

Such a heartening sign when the future attorney-general lies under oath.

still scratching my head at how people can identify as a different gender but can not identify as a different race.