Please Stormy, say not only does he have a mushroom dick but he came in 10 seconds. That would destroy his feeble brain 

“The President’s penis is not, to my knowledge, shaped like a mushroom or any other vegetable. Once again the media is distorting the giant penis head of the President. His penis is as explosive as Benghazi and as active as Hillary’s e-mails. He feels he has the largest penis of any past President.” 

Now, it’s telling that King would posit this as a touching story of the love affair between a dying man and, uh, a multi-billion dollar football league. Everyone else who read that anecdote saw it for what is was: a horny old Gingrich clone desperate to remember seeing an attractive lady in a sparkly minidress on the…

Don’t worry. The leading Republicans like Paul Ryan will speak out against this.......

You forgot Nickleback

You left out e-mails, Benghazi and the fact that Laura was not born in this country

“The University of Colorado feels you owe us an apology. You are accusing us of cheating, I have a daughter and would never cheat”

Just as every insufferable Pats fan thinks he’s a football savant just because Belichick is the coach, these Montco rockheads believe THEY called Philly Special. DURRRRRRRR MY PHILOSOPHY IS TO BE AGGRESSIVE WHICH IS WHY I LIKE TO HIT MY GIRLFRIEND IN THE MOUTH WITH A SINK PIPE DURRRRRRRR.

You forgot about occasionaly a man with a tight striped shirt and ripped arms explains a rule for 10 minutes

Tv Person in blue dress voted “Most Likely To Not Enjoy Bukkake Party”

TCB baby

Well yea, Billie Jean King is like 70 years old and plays tennis. 

NOT a Pats fan but again, every team of every sport at every level cheats. To quote a famous chef and raconteur “You cannot argue that.”

No other professional, no, any team of any organized sport, has ever spied on their opponent ?

It’s like it’s acceptable behavior now. Pro sports is turning into a shit show. You hit a home run, I hit you. You drive for a layup and get whacked and grabbed. 

But our quarterback beat an astronaut on Jeopardy!, so fuck you.

Ohhhh Mr. Fancy with a pot and some broth

Ever heard of the Babe Ruth cabbage ? The legendary baseball player would place a wet cabbage leaf beneath his cap in order to keep cool. He would change it every 2 innings.