Should have asked me

I’m not dead yet

Meeh...needs more Bill Murray 

I proceeded to spray an industrial quantity of toxic slurry all over the ground; the damage was immense and the logistics thereafter a nightmare

“I say Muffy. We have been standing here at the register for 2 hours now. Where is that Consuelo woman who takes my money ?”

I find it unbelieveable a fan would throw a can with beer still in it.....Dude that’s like 10 dollars Canadian (17 dollars U.S.) you just threw away

If only they could go back and prevent Kim being tied up by “fake cops”

Perhaps he would like to pursue a college degree at Penn State ?

War...what is good for. Absolutely nuthin’

Dear mr. Prezident I really think my cousin is nice and i want to marry her just like my mom and dad even though he is in prizon. can you send her a leter saying can Bocephus marry you and then she will say yes. her name is wanda lou and she is really purty except where the horse kicked her in the mouth. but she still…

Who knows what to believe with this fucked up excuse of a “family”. It would not shock me if this was all some plan by the mother to get more press.

He made one good pass......

Dude, a pound of weed from Cleveland is like 49 cents.

Number One suspect -- OBAMA !!!!!!

“I was like, please baby Jesus let the pitcher fail and like let me like hit the ball like really far to Jesus.”