“Hi, I’m Ryan. You ever find yourself in a foreign place and have to take a wicked piss ? Take it from me, it can be difficult. That’s why I wear Depends. It keeps me from having to bail on my buddies.”

“I was being sarcastic” Ryan Lochte......Works every time

I will wait to form an opinion once Goose Gossage or Yadi Molina make a statement

Perhaps the promotion “Free ticket with every burrito” was not a good idea

Perhaps he was looking for the elusive “Jesus” under the skirts ????

Needs more Moises Alou

I think they have to be mixed with pork to be kosher

Million dollar arm, fiddy cent brain

The new NFL Doctorb

Relied on Kashmir

“Ummmm, like, you know, like voting is important, like Jesus is important, and like, ummm, you know voting and like go Trump. Because, like, the other person is a woman, like, with a secret evil garden, like, down there, ew. Go Gators”

Lindsay Vonn - America’s Sweetheart

Talk about family, that works every time

Turn the question around - what if your kid was Simmons ? One bad episode and never get a second chance ?

I’m thinking one of the 18 Molina brothers. they can explain the unwritten rules and how to play the “correct” way so the batter gets bored and falls asleep