I bet the doctor does not speak spanish.

Sold for parts? I hear his brothers got a deal on organs they’ll be saving for the old man later.

Donald Trump couldn’t self-fund a run for city councilor. The man is, as always, fucking broke.

$900,000 a month? I’d save it up until I had enough set aide to pay for a trip to orbit from SpaceX.
I’d admit that it’d take a few years, but I figure I can afford to wait.

I know visitors at the Capitol go through a metal detector to get into the Gallery, I just wonder if Congressmen go through one as well. My biggest concern is that she shows up on the floor of the House with a gun (or two!) in her purse.

...I pretty much hate New York Nazis too

Tracey Ullman will have a lot of fun playing this woman.

Someone who doesn’t have cable.

Being a Science Fiction fan from the 1970s, the first thing I looked up was Energumen. That was the title of a SF fanzine published in Toronto from 1970 until 1973 by Mike Glicksohn and Susan Wood. An Energumen is someone who is possessed by a demon or an animal. I didn’t find it.

How many batches did it take to establish the threshold amount?

They’ve already shrunk the Baconator as well as the Son of Baconator. All is already lost. They’ve also taken their fantastic fries and I think they’ve changed the salt; is it no longer sea salt? I don’t know, I’m still depressed about the Baconator shrinkage.

Is Kimberley Guilfoyle going to photo bomb everyone in America now? I live in Minnesota, so I’m just wondering when to expect her to show up at work or my local grocery store or at our home. I’m just trying to schedule my time off for the next few weeks.

Who the hell is Bella Hadid?

Flushing Eat Worms is simple: sing the song yourself, in the style of Bob Dylan.

If old white guys like me wear our pants hanging off our asses, we’d trip on ‘em. That’s why we invented suspenders, dude.

Texas is a state because of the fucking Democratic Party. The Democrats took us to war against Mexico, and drew Texas into the Union immediately there after. A century after that, Democratic President Lyndon Johnson gave Texas the NASA HQ in Houston, which is a gift that keeps on giving, sixty years later. Dan Patrick…

I assume that this white trash asshole has some smokin’ Nazi tattoos on his forehead that are covered by the Joe Cool angle of his Mountie hat, right?  Just looking on his clown, I can tell that he sleeps with his pistol even more then he sleeps with his wife.

My drive thru window story has nothing to do with food.

OKay Joel, what’s your tip for cleaning the window of our ovens? My first thought was a razorblade scraper to take down as much of the crap as I can, but uses of use and oven cleaning cycles has left my oven window looking like a sepia toned picture of the oven contents.

Melton Meow’s whole campaign just pissed me off so damned much. Once I figured out that his wife was a big damned deal with Fairview, I realized a lot of the push for him had come from.