Why you usin' your magination? You a f@g?

I just wanna flop down and lie on top of you in a completely manly way.

Are neopolitan men the ones with a strawberry, vanilla, and chocolate sections all in the same container?

TOO SOON!

I'm from and live in Pittsburgh. It strikes me as odd that when I read "Pittsburgh Serbian Club" in your comment, I immediately thought of at least 5 potential places you could be referring to.

Wait… Are you referring to hockey or politics?

"… Congress will all be pro bono pro-boner, of course."

Bud Light and hamburgers, you say? Hamburgers, plural?

Uh… I was making a joke about confusing the interviewer with former A's and Giants pitcher Barry Zito.

I dunno… Zito is known for curveballs.

Yeah… OK… OK.

And Trump could shit in your oatmeal and you'd say it was raisins.

It depends: is the t-shirt cotton or a blend?

Wait… I thought the moose was a candidate.

The Stones and Springsteen aren't drawing a taxpayer-funded salary during their concerts.

Um… Excuse me, but it's "Tut, tut gentle Marge…"

I crack up at:

The article says physical custody will be with the mother and he'll have only supervised visitation. That seems much more preferable to the status quo ante.

And another thing Vonnegut: I'm gonna stop payment on that check.

Rawrbin!