You shut your mouth Charlie Jane Anders, the ‘90s gave us Muppet Christmas Carol and Muppet Treasure Island. Upstage lads! This is my only number.

wheesht lads, haud your gobs,

No, I am not ready for any further rumours about episode 8. Thank you for asking. I just skipped that bit and read some of the other rumourgossip, and that seemed to work out pretty well.

Screw you, the sea! I’m in a Land Rover! Vrum vrum!

Brutal.

I second this. Have another star.

Urg, I had forgotten Heather Graham in that film.

Oh indeed, but it’s a lash-up that works pretty well until evolution builds a bodge-job larynx for talking on top of it.

and the fact it’s pronounced Heh-reh-ford.

Marcellus Wallace is paying the IRA to retrieve his soul. The plot makes so much more sense once you know what’s in the case.

I liked Clive Russell as a-few-years-older Abberline in Ripper Street, but then I like Clive Russell.

He wasn’t actively terrible though, which would separate it from the others on the list. I’m not sure you could make a faithful adaptation of the comic which worked as a film anyway.

I know it’s praising him with faint damns, and it’s been a while since I’ve seen it, but I thought From Hell wasn’t bad and that Depp didn’t ruin the film with annoying Deppisms. Alan Moore is notoriously curmudgeonly about film adaptations of his work anyway so I’m sure he’d have found something to grump about.

Nuh-uh, most land vertebrates up to and including monkeys have trachea and oesophagus that don’t cross over. It’s only when proto-humans decided to get all fancy and have complex equipment for vocalisation that the whole shebang turned into a choking hazard.

two and a half books after they were needed, really

Putting the cart before the horse there? I doubt there’d be nearly as much multi-, or the words “movie star”, in that sentence without Dwayne Johnson’s weaponised self-confidence.

The Rock is concentrating, to ensure the lady is properly and maximally balled. The Rock does not half-ass things.

Bah, there’s totally gravity in there.

That’s what he does when he likes them. They wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.

Best thing in Green Wing, and the Book Club, in my opinion.