Watch out! You’re going to get inundated with crypto bro greys yelling that he’s “African American.”

the trick is to read it backwards

Word of advice: If two ladies approach you, run away!

Now this is a story all about how

Duh. Of course it’s make-believe.

Apologies if I’m just dense, but I read your description several times and don’t get the intent at all.

Hot take: the original Space Jam also sucked.  

No they weren't

If this door were real and in a public place, it would quickly become the leading cause of death in that area. People would watch other people touch the door and die, and still be like, “Yeah, but I mean, it doesn’t really kill you, right? I’m gonna just touch it a little.”

Unrelated comment that should have been a new thread but isn’t.

Baleen.

“What started as a wriggling snarl of buttholes becomes a swarm of autonomous, sex-seeking torpedoes.”

I never thought I would want a live-action Powerpuff Girls movie starring adults as the girls.

That’s a relatively good question!

I’m not a part of your system!

Part of his problem may have been that he was out on a lamb, not out on the lam. 

“34 percent adult protection (yes, that’s out of 100%)“

This is the first stage of grief: foaming at the mouth insanity.

Speaking of Wesley Snipes phoning it in...