Bran, like Luigi, wins by doing nothing.

It’s not even all of Deadspin.  It’s pretty much just Bill.

> ... its lessons should have been learned ago.

Because undocumented residents are able to opt out of all taxes?

> And now, as an extra bonus, NBA playoff analysis.

> Pimplé squeezed out the term

Secretly looking ahead to a potential 30-28 Virginia win over Texas Tech

Roosevelt Chapman

Can’t we use the Gruden Filter on that profile to redden him considerably?

And at current rate trends, Harper’s salary that final year will just barely cover their expected tuition costs.

The singular of White Sox is White Sok.

> Yes, the games take slightly less time than it takes for dinosaurs to become petroleum.

> ... where there are no point guards and no Jimmy Butlers 

Isn’t McVay’s success more due to the “Spooky Brain Thing” than it is his age?

> ... the Brooklyn Nets are good as hell now.

It’s over 9000!

> It has to get better than this, I’m tempted to say, because: how could it get worse?

Now that Joe Harris has grown a beard, he is currently my favorite player with a beard who is named Joe Harris.

> ... do you ever remember a victory like this?

Wait, when was Alex Smith traded to the Cleveland Browns?  We have a patent on this, Haslem should sue.