Trump needs Miguel Angel Jimenez to teach him a thing or two about warming up properly.

Somewhere Chris Wondolowski wipes away a single tear from his face, takes his vitamins and packs up his Klinsi Stuttgart Kickers jersey, then shoots the ball over the crossbar on a WIDE OPEN GOAL!! HOLY SHIT!!......

Gary Cohn is getting $285 million to leave Goldman Sachs and it’s estimated that $220 million will be given to him in stocks.

I think that the only way Popovich could sway the minds of Trump voters would be if he somehow threw down visciously on Trumps dome like Vince Carter on Frederic Weis.

In addition to adding automated ordering systems, Carl’s Jr. And Hardee’s locations nationwide will begin to pre-spray the insides of their toilet bowls with diarrhea.

Steve Bannon looks like the Hinden-Peter after a crash

Steve Bannon looks like Beaker from the Muppets, after a lifetime of exposure to Dr. Bunsen Honeydew’s shenanigans

Steve Bannon looks like A young Immortan Joe.

Steve Bannon looks like Uncle Festers Just for Men ‘After’ photo.

Steve Bannon looks like the substitute gym teacher that interrupts taking attendance to go on a rant about bears eating out of dumpsters.

“ And then there’s Frederick Douglas, I notice now that He Can’t stop, Won’t stop..”

“And really, that Stephon Urkell is tremendous, absolutely big league. I mean he isn’t Joey Gladstone from ‘Full House’, but he’s close. And let’s not forget that we’ve discovered that the Jackalope isn’t actually an animal. We’ve debunked that thanks to Fox News, such tremendous people over there. ”

Somewhere Don King waives two dollar store bought American Flag’s proudly, fanatically, majestically.

I played a music festival in Indio, CA where the security was staffed by Marines who were about to be deployed to Afghanistan. The people who attended the festival felt this was a good time to voice their opinions on how awful The U.S. Government is, and people harassed the Marines as if they we’re occupying the…

Moe doesn’t even talk with his accent no more.

Damnit, this Shitty Idiot had to ruin Dory for us too?? What the Fuck!?!

“For the last time guys, it’s actually pronounced Mill-e-wah-que, which is Algonquin for “The Good Land...”

Jon Voight?!!! Hell Yeah!!! I hope he plays “You Think They Don’t Bite??” And “It Could Be Dangerous..”!!!!!

Dear James Comey,

400 years....