You get a stroke! And you get a stroke!

I’m the adult child of an alcoholic. I’ve spent my childhood pouring my mother back into bed, trying to keep her from feeding chocolate to dogs, listening to the frankly bizarre BS that would fall out of her mouth. From the age of six I’ve been my mom’s adult. She gets drunk now and complains that I won’t give her…

Somewhere Jonathan Franzen is regretting being born 20 years too late.

There’s ample evidence Capote was a dick. Your take-away is a solid one.

Strokes as far as the eye can see!

The “love thy family” bullshit. Everyone thinks you’re obligated to love your family no matter what they do. Even if they’re murderers and/or rapists.

The Malaprop has been STRONG on this site for the last few months...

I’m just glad that no one else understood it either because I was wondering if I’d maybe had a stroke.

What?

Jezebel, where it’s the fault of white people that Azalea Banks is an asshole to anyone more famous than her.

I love that story.

Are all your best lines from 5 year old memes?

just don’t be a “sorry” person....I work with a guy that says sorry to everything. Things that don’t even need sorries

If you can’t bend down to get in a car, you need to start fucking walking before you have a coronary.

How else would they cover up the hideous “round peg is a giant square hole” wheel wells that are GM’s design language.

Ooh, my pet peeve with that is collision avoidance that warns me that I’m about to hit something in front of the car.

Totally! Where’s my pie?

I’ve begun doing the same thing. I worked for a manager recently who would critique her employees (privately) after a customer presentation. It was things that sounded petty (like: “you said ‘um’ way too many times” or “you waved the laser pointer around the screen too much to the point that it was distracting”). It…

...a sinister, dark, high-fructose energy