The red one cuz I like to subtly give off the impression I might know magic or that I do water color paintings in my free time. Next question.

Our swim coach made us do this with our hands above water for training. Who ever lasted the longest got to choose the music for practice the next day. I won only once and I made a playlist of “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” on repeat.

I too have a chafing dish and the sterno to go with it. Same story. She says it comes in handy when there’s a power blackout, because then you can heat up food.

YES! Controlling your breathing to keep air in your lungs makes it so much easier to float/tread water.

Why did I just have to wonder if this will hurt her career more than it hurts his?

My parents have even put aside money for their “container fund” that will finance dumpster rental to throw away all their stuff

Wondering if there are any other super buoyant people out there? I can literally just about indefinitely bob in water, to quite a level of choppiness, without needing a life vest or to tread water. I’m so buoyant I can just lie back in calm water, fall asleep, and have a proper nap!

I no longer have time to give a flying fuck about millionaire problems.

It’s also useful to be fat. It’s no mistake that early life jackets were nicknamed Mae Wests, after the famously zaftig star. Extra fat tissue (i.e. like that in breasts) will help keep you afloat with minimal effort.

sometimes... when the realization hits you that all guys have dicks...

One of the only occasions when being chubby pays off. I can tread water forever because I’m already really buoyant. In salt water I hardly need to move at all, I just bob like a fishing float.

One thing we have asked parents/grandparents is a flat out “what do you want kept within the family?” (Now we might not honor that request when they’re dead, but at least we know that most of the stuff that they have is not of utmost importance.

My family does the opposite. They keep a nice clean house all their life and when they turn 50, they slowly start accumulating more and more stuff so by the time they’re ready to go, it’s basically time to call American Pickers.

Honestly, based on the title, I was definitely expecting, like, Skwisgaar Skwigelf’s Guide to Home Organization, so yeah.

I’ve always gotten the impression that, while he likes to be provocative and shocking, Bourdain’s a decent guy.

holy shit (on that Bourdain/Damon tweet) !!!

What I find particularly interesting is how I haven’t seen anyone question what Crews’ was wearing or if he was drinking...

I am usually very much not a Bourdain fan but he’s been pretty great. He’s been giving props to Rose McGowan. And also his Matt Damon call outs.

I wouldn’t say that, love his show, but he’s a recovering addict who still indulged in heavy drinking, raises some red flags there.

How utterly invincible do you think you have to be to grope Terry Crews in public and in front of his wife without any repercussions? What kind of sick, deranged power move is that?