“That Is Brand New Information!”

Man, fuck Postmates, you just wanted those sweet Timbits.

That’s like the least suspicious thing, though.

pshhh.  chump donut change.  fuggetaboutit.  It could be easy to spend that much on donuts depending on where you get them!

It might be a while but when I do I'll post it on SNS. Thanks again.

It was good! I have it for lunch today :D

Doing a cooking ‘rematch’ on a batch of meatless “meat” sauce from America’s Test Kitchen. (Cremini mushroom bits, onion, tomatoes+sauce, and garbanzo beans crushed up small: sounds weird, but tasted pretty good.) The first version was pretty good, I added more tomato sauce to it and cooked it longer the second day…

Baby clothes are basically the best. And each individual item is quite cheap! It’s so easy to get totally carried away!! Thank you for affirming my choices! 

She's lovely.

*SITTING IN YOUR LAP NOW*

If you happen to notice me in your living room, it’s because I’ve moved in.

Well that pic certainly looks like it smells and tastes amazing! I’m joining the list of people who can’t wait to hear how it turns out.

Hopefully the poor soul can finally feel his face.

“of the Target Mossimos”

Don’t let anyone ruin Portland for you!  

That and dudes whose only photos are of them wearing sunglasses! I have seen SO many profiles where I don’t know what their eyes look like.

I concerned things with a guy I was seeing because, although he’d crack a smile every now and again, the man NEVER FUCKING LAUGHED. Look buddy, I do ridiculous shit all the time and I roar with laughter at myself. If you don’t laugh with me I feel embarassed and judged.

With lion-sized lungs, lol. I’m such a pushover.

When I was on the dating apps, in my late 30s, I also swiped left guys who didn’t smile. I want to be with someone who enjoys his life! 

Same. I knew a girl who would take her gauges out in public and I feel sick remembering her sad limp ear lobes.