Correct.

The right to drive your car is, in fact, not a right, but a privilege.

Funny, I almost bought it til I saw your handle.

IT WAS EARTH THE WHOLE TIME?!?!?!

Of all the DS writers past and present, I would guess Drew would be most likely to be the chattiest Cathy in the comments section, the most responsive. And yet, he’s generally as talkative as an intubated Bill Belichick. Why? Did we do something to offend him? Too many gifs from Chopped?

Hm. That’s well-argued, but I don’t think the rape AS tacks on at the end is the heart of the joke. It seems... tacked on, you might say. And ye, no doubt there are countless riffs on the 72 virgins, but the 72 virgins is an actual belief that actually exists, and is widely known. You wouldn’t end a joke with “And...…

Bigbooty.

Fair enough, but that just makes them both thieves, no?

That is because a “gorillion” is a technically imaginary number, like the square root of -27 or the number of hairs on Donald Trump's head.

Interesting. Does that predate both bits? Also, FWIW, that just means they both stole...

This is theft. What really gives it away is adding the going outside and tapping the window part. Because you don't need it, the joke still works if you just walk around to the front, or crawl on the floor and pop up.

That was wittily put, John Bigbooty, but I would quibble that it cannot be trillions, as the universe is only a few billion years old.

I stopped loving him when he raised the price of that toxoplasmosis drug.

Nice! Thanks...

Dang. Imgur it?

Any chance of a screenshot? That sounds pretty fucking awesome.

What a creep. Narcissist, too.

I think I just solved this thing:

“Herbstreit would be in a less charitable mood if his ESPN salary were to suddenly be replaced by free room and board and a bit of spending money.”

Christ, only on Jezebel can a horrible tragedy be bent into a man-hate fest.