I thank God every day I am a man and that, therefore, a man can never kill me.

Intentional inflicting of emotional distress, yes, in the US. Those other things are urban legends, though:

Dang. Good luck to you, for whatever that’s worth...

Ah, thank you! Servicey...

I will proudly (shame-facedly) confess I was one of the doofii who believed extra $$ meant the whole shebang got taxed at the higher rate. That said, so does that mean if the highest rate is 39% and you are well over it, not all of your icnome is being taxed at that rate, but the at some average of alltthe other rates…

Love-love.

Vegas?

I wish my bank account would die in the exact same way the NFL's is.

I would be the Lawrence of her Labia.

Okay, so he seems like a cool, solid dude and all, but I don’t understand this idea that he is somehow living free. He has a regular-ass job he has to go to, like, most days. I mean, I could see it if he had his days free, and could wake up and be like, “I think I’m gonna hit Portland next.” But the only thing…

Right. That gets me, too, though I was already "gotten" at literal bloody welts all over his tiny body and on his fucking scrotum. Not even for discipline, but simply to slake AP's unquenchable rage.

It is really pastime for a comment this good.

I think it was just OK.

Truly, posting "male tears" gifs on Jezebel has been the linchpin of protecting male victims of sexual assault. Why has this not been formally recognized, in the form of a cash grant or medal?

And, contrary to what is implied in the program, Charles David Sly played no part in Mr. Howard’s fiftieth home run in 2006 or in any of his many other home runs.