CB Bucknor would have fucked this up somehow

That’s strange, people usually try to kill themselves after watching the Pirates play.

UMPIRE: Strike Three!!!!!

Hell, if she wanted to be in a better place she could have driven 5 miles in any direction.

This is amazing. Thanks to a good human for doing something really important for a fellow human, and for following the instinct to take action.

Redford must be kicking himself for not using your Facebook headline.

I’m just glad that Lonzo is being set up for success. Managing expectations, giving him time to develop and no pressure what so ever to produce immediate results. This is how a star is born!!!

Does a world exist where one of Lonzo’s weird-ass low-release shots gets hammer blocked right into courtside sitting LaVar’s face?

Shawn Kemp, probably.

Man, I can’t believe how totally unrelated that is. There are no parallels to be found anywhere.

Hmm. Are you in a position to arrange for things to be spilled on his seat or his person? How about his car, could you “mistakenly” have it towed? Can you maybe get a camera pointed at him and put him onscreen every time he picks his nose, scratches his Balls, or pulls a goofy face? Are there now or could there be…

I work at Staples Center and lemme tell you, this guy is gonna be a headache. I’m gonna dread working Laker games this coming season.

That company’s stocks are going to have a Ard’time recovering from this fiasco.

she died doing what she loved: whipping things into shape

Born from the cream, die by the cream. That’s what my grandma always says.

He still goes home to Kate Upton.

Well fuck how are we going to enjoy Father’s Day now that this has happened

The Freeze’s victory last night was by the greatest margin ever and witnessed by the largest audience in history. This is as undisputed, as the Freeze is undefeated.

You’re right, he clearly lost because he wasn’t Russian enough.