I believe the point has been served.

Please send your best healing wishes to Leonardo DiCaprio, who fought a volleyball and lost

That’s cheating. Oscar Isaac is a Golden Era movie star that an enraged husband shoved into a time machine.

But then I can see cousin Balki!

Okay I've read this book, and I would not have opened the doors because the Langoliers will get you.

This is the kind of fuck up that you give someone a free flight or a huge discount on the one they just had. I just assumed that the flight crew just walked the aircraft end to end after everyone disembarked. This seems like a pretty standard kind of practice.

I maintain the look Poe gives Finn is the horniest thing in any Star Wars movie.

You telling me this ain’t horny??

What. The. Hell. First off, Finn is 1000% horny on main in The Force Awakens. And Rey and Kylo Ren are a hair’s breadth away from straight up psychically fucking for most of The Last Jedi. Those movies are hella horny.

I love almost everything about Alice Cooper, but I do hope this is something they wouldn't really do. Their kids don't need to lose them both at the same time, at the very least.

My catty ass LOVES the comment on Trump’s penis size: “Was it in there, or only partially in there? Hm, not sure.” You know that’s driving him bonkers.

That topic has been done, a lot. I’d for sure read a Jez piece on it, but there’s a ton of great investigative pieces on the true scams that MLMs are. The Dream podcast is a great example, and Samantha Bee just did a piece on them. I’ve read pieces from Washington Post, Medium, Bloomberg, etc.

This is the perfect time for Jezebel to do a long piece about how MLMs prey on vulnerable women in the name of feminism and financial freedom when the reality is it sucks them dry and leaves them friendless and poorer than they started out.  It’s so gross how MLMs work and what they do to people. 

I don’t think it’s calling out misogyny that’s the problem with Cyrus, though. She showed up with her Disney princess credibility, stole a bunch of stuff she liked from hip hop (including some fairly gross hypersexualization, in my opinion!), made her money, then turned around and rubbished the whole genre.

Eliza Taylor and Bob Morley look like celebrity name typos.

As it has been true since day one of this dumbest timeline presidency, we have officially reached Chappelle Show Black Bush levels of absurdity

Being charitable I’d say he means that any plans to get to mars would involve going back to the moon (like setting up a refueling/resupply cache since getting off of earth probably takes a fuckton of fuel)

I don’t get the hostility towards the French Revolution. I thought the world pretty much agreed that it was a good thing? Of course I think the metric system is a good thing too so what do I know?

If Madonna and Bradley Cooper were locked in a room together would their combined self-absorption cancel each other out, and then they would disappear?  Cause if that is case I am willing to help fund that experiment.