So do the writers on this site. :/

Pretty sure the students aren’t shelling out the money.

Probably wore contacts on stage.

Exactly. If anyone’s pandering, it’s the Colbert/Samantha Bee wing, who seem more interested in generating round after round of self-congratulatory applause than actually crafting a funny joke.

Please. Carson was more apolitical than any of them. You would’ve been the first one to start bitching when he didn’t do enough Trump stuff.

If you don’t think he’s made jokes about Trump, you’re delusional. He just hasn’t made enough mean ones to suit you.

You’ll have to remind me when any single one of these hosts ever once made a joke implying criticism of Obama. Maybe some half-hearted attempts when healthcare.gov didn’t roll out well.

Fair enough.

In the hypothetical yet extremely realistic scenario I proposed, she was not pregnant.

*Photo widens to reveal Beyonce was also smoking in the bathroom*

Ray Allen never would have gone to some championship anniversary party anyway. He Not Lame.

Yes. It’s exactly like that situation with the TALIBAN. And the symmetry is in congressmen from both parties not reading the bill personally.

Look, Collins should have known more, but again, if congress staff keeps them apprised of the amendments since the last bill and the provisions, that’s them doing their job.

“since Jesus himself will probably descend from the heavens in order to oversee the arrival of the most important twins to ever bless our humble, unworthy Earth.”

In a Bizarro world where this was a good blog post written by a talented writer who knew what ‘context’ was, we’d have some of this information, but I’d have to assume that a) the majority of congressmen in both parties didn’t read the entire bill, and b) reading the thousands of pages of legislation in each bill one…

If only the French had a phrase for when something happens that feels like it’s happened before. Maybe then they’d see what’s going on.

Huh. Guess we had a female late-night host all along.

It’s never convincing when a guy dyes his beard blonde.

This is silly. I’m looking forward to the version of this article Jezebel writes the next time a show with these themes stars a Catholic or Muslim actress.

You didn’t get the memo, I guess. We hate Amy Schumer now. Problematic stories only.