“Matured” Eric Cartman? We should check with Kara cause I think that might actually be throwing shade at Eric Cartman.

Could someone tell his boys to stop dressing like they’re Gordon Gekko.

You have just displayed all the goddamned sense in the world!

I’m sorry so many of our fellow human beings have been and continue to be assholes.

OK, Bud. Actually, people who don’t know what they’re talking about should be more susceptible to shutting the fuck up.

Hit the nail on the head. If I were a beginner at salsa it wouldn’t naturally occur to me that Booty would be a good salsa song. Clearly these frat boy producers are putting their less than two cents in.

For real. Whatever makes you feel better at night Maks.

A.) Walking, talking bowl of buttered noodles = perfection

This entire show was clearly about getting that expression on the face of the boy wearing the silk bomber jacket. He may be scarred for life but I have just laughed my ass off like nobody’s business so it’s worth it.

And exactly! They make it sound like it was cleaned and filleted or something, but pretty sure it was just a dead ass rodent in his bag. This is not “aww shucks” cute!

Dude. That was exactly my first thought. “What type of effing kid brings home dead squirrel... Oh. His name was Brylan. But of course.”

That’s nice. This is probably the only time Ryan has helped anything.

I wish more people could read what you just wrote. This is the kind of real speak law enforcement needs to here.

Giuliani is like the toilet paper stuck in your butt hairs after a poop.

I’m still not exactly sure why Karlie Kloss is famous so I’m at a distinct disadvantage here.

I could advise his past self the same way I did 8 years ago “Run gurl!!!! The Presidency is after you!!” And “Don’t go in that White House down the road!”

Quality indeed.

You know what else was on point? This:

The only thing that matters is who unloads the dishwasher. If she does it, she can join my mom’s group bitchfest email string anytime.

One day I would like to watch a Life Time Original Movie marathon and play the requisite drinking games with Gabby SidiBae while wearing fuzzy PJs and doing facial masks.