Quick, rewrite it to the best of your ability.

Sir, it comes in Zeus Bronze Metallic, which is fancy brown:

This is why my heart breaks whenever I watch Wawrinka.

Time, for one, was on his side. Thiem, now 25, moved another year closer to his physical prime; Nadal, now 33, moved another year away from his.

Steph vs Kawhi is Alien vs. Predator. A startling and chaotic destructive force vs a flawless, relentless hunter. This series is awesome.

// It’s 7am yesterday morning and the wake-up alarm has just gone off in Nancy’s apartment. She rolls over in bed and checks her phone. She has approximately 10,000 messages from fellow Democrats asking her why she hasn’t begun Impeachment yet

yeah cool, he’s only averaging 23.6 points/gm for the playoffs (on 44% shooting). which would tie him with larry bird for career playoff average, 25th overall in nba history. and this is a relatively POOR performance by his own standards (he’s 9th overall on that list). also he dislocated a finger and is averaging 40…

Also, that picture is an all-NBA best and will be meme’d for the rest of eternity as it rightfully should.

Both cars I drive have the backup camera screen in the rear view mirror. I prefer that to having it on a separate screen. The disadvantages are of course that the camera display area is much smaller than the separate screens are and it does take away about a third of the mirror area when backing up. Advantages are it…

I’d be okay with hucking every screen into the ocean, personally. (Just kidding—I know the fish don’t want to deal with them, either.)

The most flawless bit of logical deduction since Black Dynamite deduced the diabolical plans of Anaconda Malt Liquor:

Was this in some Indonesian league? Because if watching Indonesian action movies has taught me anything, it’s that machetes are the $7 check from Grandma of birthday presents there.

I love the idea that in real time the ref was like, “pivot-caught the ball-one-two-lost control-pivot-pass-legal.”
Second, we’re like two weeks from Harden just bobbling the ball from hand to hand as he walks down the court before plowing headlong into a defender actively running away from him and getting like 10…

“I’ve been there, Lavar. You went in with dreams that you’d be the architect of something grand, but now you’re feeling trapped and just aching to see your son go somewhere that will let him stretch his wings like you truly believe he can. I know that story, Lavar. I’ve lived it. So believe me when I tell you, one dad…

I grew up in Illinois before moving away for university and I was at least partially politically-aware in the sense of I knew who my Senators were and had seen my Representative in person and other things like that. I never ever heard of Barack Obama in 2000; at a statewide level he was an unknown. Four years later he…

You lost me at Michigan

There’s only one appropriate reply to this:

That lucio ‘fox’ outfit is weak compared to Owl Ana and Wulrus Roadhog

Mark this under: “When old people learn about something in sub-culture.”

I was promised everyone as furry. I see two of nine that have any animal-related costuming at all. :<  (Maybe three if you count Krampus as an animal)