A trailer hitch? On an Audi? In Austin? The probability of that ever happening is identical to the probability of my bamboo flute mixtape winning a Grammy and launching me into superstardom.

Completely agree. It’s hard to overstate how important communication is in Overwatch. And when literally half your team doesn’t speak the same language as the other half, things are going to go badly for you. It’s doubly true in high-pressure moments in the game.

So ... she has a medium-charge Zarya gun as her primary fire, which can increase to basically a fully-charged Zarya gun. She can semi-auto rapidfire faster-moving small explosive orbs or charge up a slower, higher-damage big orb. She can shoot at shields indefinitely since it doesn’t cost her any ammo. She can shoot…

Right? Or Soldier. Or McCree. And then Sym follows them up, sets up her Ult Wall in front of them, and they turn the ground into a shooting gallery for 15 seconds. Who is going to stop that play? You’d need a D.Va and a Winston to both jump up and handle it short range, or a Sym of your own to teleport people up…

I genuinely don’t understand this idea that LeBron started the “superteam” thing, when KG, Ray, and Paul joined forces on the Celtics like 5 years earlier. Or when Gary Payton and Karl Malone bounced over to the Lakers to join Shaq and Kobe a couple years before that. I just don’t get it.

Three things have to happen for the Cavs to win the title, two of which are not in the Cavs’ control.

Uhhhh ... yea. Saying a player eases up when the set/game is out of hand kinda implies that they started the set/game trying to win, doesn’t it?

You see it in tennis all the time. A player gets down a break or two, say 4-2, in an early set, and you can see them ease up through the rest of that set because they know the energy they’d have to expend to get back into that set would be better used in the next set, which they have a better chance of winning. Energy…

Yea, i wasn’t saying one of those runs was better than the other. I was saying I don’t understand why neither of them shut the door on the GOAT conversation. And if those two superhuman performances weren’t persuasive, I don’t know why this one would be the clincher. If you’re looking for evidence that he is the…

Yea, “not all threes are created equal” seems to be the thing all of these takes are missing this morning. It’s like nobody noticed that the Warriors played pretty damn good defense in the 2nd half. As a result, the Rockets took a ton of contested, off-balance threes. Those are super low-percentage shots, even moreso…

I don’t understand why people still had arguments after LeBron took a similarly trash Cavs squad to the Finals in Cavs-Warriors I and carried that team so hard the dude who tried to guard him won MVP for giving up 30+ ppg.

Or, you know, just print the page and throw it away. Don’t give it to the freaking customer, you morons!

Zarya got skins in the Blizzard World patch and Year of the Dog. They are both awesome. What’s the problem?

But really, nothing is different. This has been the Rockets’ offensive philosophy for basically the entire Harden era. It’s not like any NBA observer is just now realizing that they hate the way the Rockets play the game.

Albert, you’re my favorite writer on Deadspin. I think you live in DC and, if so, I legitimately real-life want to buy you a beer and thank you for the silly shit you write that makes me laugh. I don’t even watch Walking Dead but I read every damn one of your write-ups on the show. That said:

Driving a base Focus does not give you insight into driving an RS. It’s helpful to actually experience things before forming opinions about them.

On the bright side, when someone using this thing causes an accident, which they invariably will, Tesla and their insurance company will immediately tell them to fuck right off. This basically gives Tesla a bulletproof “premeditated inattentive driver” defense.

Never underestimate the power of the “pride game” on your home court. Going 6 games is still more likely than 4.

I didn’t live there and still got my license suspended!

Agreed on all points.