If the American public can’t trust the person who is president to give them accurate advice during a fucking crisis that won’t fucking kill them, then maybe there is something seriously fucked with the US. 

The only person worth 1000x minimum wage is Tom Hanks.  He’s a national treasure.

Rather than spending huge sums bailing out each industry individually, which will do no good anyway because it just defers the crunch rather than preventing it, how about we just give everybody with a social security number a huge cash sum to spend how they wish. Like two years median wage for every American, and let…

For companies that want bailouts, I think there should be a set of criteria to qualify.

1. If you spent your giant tax break money on stock buybacks - go fuck yourself.
2. If your CEO got a giant bonus from tax break money - go fuck yourself
3. If your employees are woefully underpaid, worked to death, and have no…

These jobs people can just go get... where are they?

Those things are so filthy that they just cannot be sterilized or cleansed in any meaningful way. You might as well just have a corona infectee stand in the middle of the room and cough over everyone, while lightly sprinkling norovirus and clostridium solutions over them each night.

I hope it kills him.
The “loss” of Mitch McConnell should be a national day of celebration.

Well maybe we can have a chance for the whole of fucking Congress to just disappear and be repopulated with people that are young enough to have a clue.

If I show up with a kid am I gonna be asked a lot of pesky questions?

Yeah, this one will be worse. 

obligatory;

Haterz are gonna hate, but this is the real deal. I’ve even seen the note.

I think you’re on to something.

The shit hits the fan moment was the NCAAs being cancelled. Disney parks closing is the shit from the fan hitting the wall and slowly sliding down onto your freshly opened bag of toilet paper that you just killed a guy for in front of a Popeye’s.

Neutral:

Indeed, for a place that only begrudgingly pauses for hurricanes (and then rarely), this is a completely unprecedented move. Maybe now Orlando can be made a testing center? Last week when they ignored it in favor of Miami and Tampa, we were dumbfounded. I think the rest of the nation really has no idea of the sheer…

The domino effect of both of these parks closing is going to be huge. At Disney World I know MOST people stay and eat on property, but not all. There’s all sorts of hotels, restaurants, stores etc that exist solely because Disney exists. More so at Disney Land where a lot more guests leave property to stay and dine.…

You know it’s bad when the Mouse says ‘We don’t want your money’.

Everyone who voted for this idiot needs to slink off in shame and never vote again. You clearly cannot be trusted with any important decision ever.

Covid-19 is a scarce tactic created by the toilet paper and hand sanitizer   industrial complex.