Clearly, the driver wasn’t Penske material.

Unfortunately he was driving a Penske, and insurance only covers this sort of thing with a Ryder.

Never. Never talk about your personal life to anyone at work except the most supercial things.

Looks bad. I’m gonna make my own Moon movie. With blackjack... and hookers. In fact, forget the blackjack!

At Applebee’s they make ‘em wear lots of Solar Flare...

Low grade beef all around. 

Unless you are Trumpity Dump Dump, you have to have a permanent filter in place. It’s a bizzaro mirror world where because one blatantly racist dementia victim with a massive persecution complex and a deeply deserved ingrained inferiority issue has been elevated to “president”, every other person running against him…

alas “the right thing” has been pretty roundly brutalized of late.

If anyone knows about long walks on the campaign trail to get at least that key Appalachian vote, it’s this guy.

“. . . one of the hardest-hit areas, was inhabitable.”

You'd think we'd get used to our president acting like a 3 yo on social media but it's just not happening for me. I really want to strike him in his puffy, pouty lips. 

This is fine. If there is one person who should be doing the most stressful demanding job in the world, it’s an elderly man who can’t talk for a few minutes without his eyeball exploding.

at some point maybe corporate America will realize selling $35-55k cars is difficult if there is no middle class

A vast, self-reinforcing culture of malignant lunacy

No, please be stupid with gasoline.

Let’s thin the herd a bit.

“So is the Trump campaign consciously dog-whistling at white nationalists or just plain stupid?”

But that process of deep moral reckoning involves coming to terms honestly with the terrible things you have done

I got halfway through those tweets before I gave up. I cant deal with this amount of stupidity this morning. Hopefully today is the day Donny boy strokes out and trips down a flight of stairs.