Not that long ago, I had a boss who made a huge deal out of the 3% raise I received that came out to less than an extra 50 cents an hour.

This is very on brand considering their core demographic is boomers with broken caps lock keys.

What makes you think that dog is male?

Sometimes, dead is bettah.

TNG Season 7 Episode 14: Sub Rosa

So you’re saying there’s a chance I can get a new Moto 360? Sorry, Moto Fitbit 360+ HR Pro Beef Supreme.

I want to live in the fantasy world where this is my daily driver.

Just call it the Model E and find a good place to watch Elon's tweetsplosion.

We are all just Kinja commenters on some kind of star trek.

To be fair to the suit, it does have to somehow contain a highly racist non-Newtonian fluid.

Please direct all complaints to John Swartzwelder.

If you look closely, that seat has adjustable lumber support.

It’s not about how much severance you receive; it’s about how much copper wire you can get out of the building with.

I think we may be dealing with Lore.

Those poor astronauts are probably going to get booted out of the totally real and not at all fictional Spaaaaaaaaace Force!™ when they return to Earth.

It’ll be quite the Bounty.

Why prevent the Iraq War when you can start Civil War 2: Authoritarian Drift?