If this is supposed to be the Passport of my dreams, I hereby renounce my citizenship.

I think it'd be more accurate to call this the pre-WWIII era. 

That thing sank Like A Rock ™.

But is he mentally Fit to stand trial?

Be careful. The Great Whites in South Africa have diplomatic immunity.

Florida: Where Audi’s, grandparents, rational thought, and dreams go to die.

No dealership would be complete without a bag of dicks.

I say we start a GoFundMe for all of the people unwittingly injured by these things.

Not enough cash?

Looks like they lost their cool.

Second Gear: Hyundai would be in a better place if they just actually built the Santa Cruz. But noooooo. Everyone apparently wants some bro-ed out monster that costs 50k and gets 10 mpg.

Downtown Disney. The Fort Wilderness/Bay Lake area has better boats, but there's not much of a piloting challenge there since it's mostly open water.

Buses are the backbone of the system for two reasons:

As former WDW transportation (watercraft) cast member:

As someone who learned to drive in Orlando, one does not simply “merge” on to I-4. It’s more of a vehicular kamikaze maneuver punctuated with copious amounts of profanity and/or prayers to various deities.

It checks out with my sources*.

Miami Driving Tip: You should already be moving when a light turns green. Failure to do so will result in a friendly local adding some “speed holes” to your rear window.

Are we there? Nyet!

Like a Tesla, Trump can also be charged in multiple states.

Artificial reefs aren't meant to be pulled out of the water.