Yes

Virginia is just Florida with worse beaches.

I just threw up in my mouth a little

I will star any and all Terry Pratchett-related comments.

I have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about, but I will try.

Did he just say “that’s toeing the line?”

I feel like this would have more impact if you added ‘Wake up, sheeple!’ on the end.

I am clearly a lady Jesus because I find myself capable of having sympathy for lots of people simultaneously.

Unfortunately, the way this case is being handled makes it look like sex trafficking is a workers are legitimate business human beings.

This one’s going into the “took me a second” Hall of Fame.

Yes, because Deadspin is where the world comes to make serious arguments about politics.

He suggested Manziel start, violating the league’s substance abuse policy.

Honestly I’d vote for Mike Huckabee not because I want to break all the laws, but because there are so many laws I’m just, like, SO OVER trying to follow them. My landlord’s all “pay your rent” and I’m all “Really? Is that the law? Is it? Is it really?” I just can’t even. Law is too hard. Too much rules, not enough…

Well, considering we now know the two players here were named “Rojas” and “Moreno,” I’m guessing the person in the comments was just a racist troll who was assuming the players were black.

You know, a weird thought just occurred to me: maybe, and hear me out on this one, but maybe they take high school football too seriously in Texas.

Kermit, where was Denise when you were working the sad theater in the 70’s and being heckled every night by old entitled white men? Was she even born?

They came from an hour away with a thirst for loafage,

Renae Plant impresses me as the Dolores Umbridge of pre-school headmasters.

But really, isn’t it about time we asked “Bruh what?” of all of us?