This is exactly the leadership America needs. Joe Biden can’t provide it anymore. He needs to step down now.

It may have been that jab about progressive intellectual laziness, which was perhaps a bit too clearly intended to provoke another trollable line of conversation.

Hello, old friend! If I may ask, what prompted you to run a background check on that particular account?

I’m not TomatoFace. I’m his publicist.

Breaking up Amazon in a period of extreme inflation would be political suicide for Democrats. Amazon’s unrivaled efficiency plus free right-to-your-door delivery are the only things keeping consumer prices from going completely haywire.

Greenwald fixates on Raytheon because he enjoys pointing out that Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin was a Raytheon board member before passing through the revolving door back into government. Greenwald hates Democrats.

I’m tired of hearing Jimmy Dore and Glenn Greenwald call AOC a cosplay leftist and a cynical career-climbing opportunist. They say AOC and the Squad are progressive sheepdogs who only pretend to fight for progressive values.

The Disinformation Board should’ve been branded as a public health project. Placing the Board in the Department of Homeland Security was a big mistake. The DHS vibe is too militaristic, too hawkish for a Democratic administration. Republicans are way better at militarism. Democrats always fuck it up.

I guarantee you the New York Times’ 53 million followers are mostly bots.

The scuttlebutt I’m hearing is Elon is making inquiries about acquiring G/O Media from Great Hill.

I’m the only Deadspin commenter these days and I’m not interested in fighting you, Jon.

Fine. Break up Amazon.

Anyone in favor of breaking up Amazon is objectively pro-inflation.

Okay but inflation is already terrible and consumer prices will go way up if Amazon breaks up.

I used to love Michelle but not anymore. Michelle has become a compulsive attention-seeker. I believe a big part of Kamala Harris’ struggle to gain popularity is due to Michelle’s refusal to stop hogging the spotlight.

AOC has said a lot of mean things about Jeff Bezos. She wants to break up Amazon and confiscate Jeff’s wealth.

Sorry, I can’t reveal trade secrets. TomatoFace scholarship is a highly competitive field.

It’s a secret. I want to see if anyone else can figure it out. Deadspin and the Onion both have fully functional comment sections for all their articles and all the old Deadspin comment sections are still online. Unfortunately the Gawker comments are no longer connected to Kinja. Those are the ones I really want to…

Stick to sports. Respect chickens.

The Onion’s take on the Twitter sale has been underwhelming. The liberal freakout is an ideal target for satire but the Onion is not touching it. I may be forced to taunt the writers, seeing as I’m the entire Onion commentariat.