Funny, I think Cruz has to legitimately run this time. Instead of getting elected on an off day.

What do the Swiss know about lobsters?

I like to take the lobsters to a quiet and serene place and tell them about the farm we will have together and the rabbits they will get to pet and then when they are in the happy place I dispatch them

When they took the one medical professional out of the safe place and she died.

And then you escape, reinvade the simulation, gain virtual super powers, cause the Earth to be destroyed, kill the alien overlord, invade Hell, and punch Satan in the face.

“I don’t get why anyone involved in an actively planned murder ever needs to be allowed to walk free again.”

I think the answer is that you could, but what you wouldn’t get is the gigantic avalanche of traffic from people who want to see Hulk Hogan having sex.

You know that plumber has a 5 hp commercial garbage disposal in his kitchen, and he just dumps entire chicken carcasses into it. He’s only telling this shit to customers so they feel bad about themselves and don’t complain when the bill comes.

/plays “leave Brittany alone!” video, badly dubbing in “Anne”. 🤗 

Where do you work? Lemme hit you up about some stuff that happened before you were there.

This is some bullshit. The dude in the pic is totally me. #sendmethosedigits

“I mean, it’s nice not to ever worry about trail mix again. One less thing, right? Ha ha ha! See ya at the kids’ soccer game!”

You can always pretend you’re Tom Brady for the day…

But they do a great job removing the Morgellons from the chemtrails

Everyone stopped walking while Black or pulled over, or arrested on shit charges... like resisting.

Teaching firearm safety classes to kids is unlikely to have any effect on mass shooting deaths.