Honestly, I just went for the first Python that popped into my head. Then, I remembered he's a bit of a prat, and added the asterisk. You're right, Palin or Idle would have been better. 

Well, at least John Cleese isn’t too much of an asshole*.

Abraham Slinkcon.

I cannot find the name of the actress online. On the internet. In 2019. This, to me is the greatest mystery/talking point to come of all of this. How the fuck does this woman (who is going super duper mega viral at the moment) have NO INTERNET PRESENCE. 

Uhh, I see something else you conveniently neglected to mention: where is this person finding all those kids to give to you?

Yep, her 20 year career is just about up, eh?

Jason describing the prevent defense hit home. All I could hear was my dad’s voice bemoaning “We’re in the prevent the win defense again...” and I was nodding along in agreement with Jason.  Btw, seriously scared that Jason is actually a demon in a Jason suit now.

Yep, everyone else is pathetic, says the person sticking up for Donald Trump, reality TV host. (Keep in mind that is the only job he kinda sorta didn’t completely tank his entire life). Over 70 years of failing upwards. Yep, we’re pathetic.

The only thing Trump killed yesterday was a couple of adult diapers, bud. 

I need to know. It’s damn near un-googleable.  I can’t even tell which A’s player he is throwing at.  Maddening. 

Hahaha, the 2:00 warning just hit. Cold. Blooded.

What a fucking piece of shit scumbag. Who in their right mind would ever think that berating women whom they don’t know about an incident that they were not involved in (fuckface assistant or the women he accosted) would be a normal, cool thing to do? It’s so far outside of what should be considered acceptable…

A 200 percent increase from the previous several years (I guess, I don't know how many yeti movies there actually are). We counting Squatch-flicks?

To be fair, I thought that rushing was always thought to be Yo Gabba Gabbert's biggest strength. Great attribute for a rb, but not so crucial in quarterbacking. Certainly less so than being able to pass farther than five yards down field or passing to the correct team.

One content, two Rudds.

Best non PG BYE GTYYYTD

Ahh yes, cinema. Auteur filmmaking at it's finest, I'm sure. 

You think Jimmy Butler has ever heard a Massive Attack song? I’m gonna say nah.

Is Myles Garrett doing the Shawn Michael’s pose? If so, respect.

There are a lot of people on the internet that I didn't realize had such strong opinions on China and global politics. So many scholars and freedom fighters, it genuinely uplifting.