@Gamboa Constrictor: I love House Hunters International. They'll have a sunburned British couple looking for a vacation home in the Caribbean, and they'll be all psyched over features found in most trailer homes here in the States. And then the fat Americans that freak the fuck out to find out that the washing…

@Gary Oakland Athletics: I wonder who the last person to make a Martin Lawrence joke was.

ISD 361 sounds like the sexiest of all radioactive isotopes.

If Chris Penn was more of a quitter, he might have been able to windowshop in LA too.

"Let me tell you about 20-year olds my friend, half of them are 16."

Looking over his career, I'm pretty sure that for Tim Marcum, the offending "N" word is "NFL."

I can't control any outside source.

most members of the family had the "Gordon Bombay cut."

@WhatWouldTebowDo?: +1 HOOAH!!

It's sad that Scot Pollard would have beef with Deadspin, as being a white Mormon cat in the NBA should help him identify with the crushing isolation of the lives of the commenters here.

Willa Wonka has had trouble adjusting to life after Nestle put him out of business.

You did not call me and ask for information on Pasqualoni or talk to my son, Joe, who started as an offensive lineman at Syracuse from 1997-2001.

"That's still no excuse."

Yeah, but it's okay. I would have done the same thing.

@Always Winning: Maybe he could fund a couple of band scholarships or something.

But we know know him

@Steve U: The story got even crazier the next day. He was on injured reserve so he knew he wasn't playing. So he told an assistant coach he was going to a doctor appointment but instead went to lunch!

@ursa: Yes, but I must admit that name still gets me.

Geez Craggs. That was truly excellent writing just to waste on some elaborate ninja trap post for commenters making one ball jokes.

At this moment, a furious Mark Curry is calling up his attorney.