Photo was clearly from before he figured out that the book's about motorcycle maintenance.

By the way, Janet was 18 when she played Charlene

I get blazingly drunk

My faith in humanity fades everytime I'm on the airplane and there's always that one entitled asshole who ignores the flight crew's orders about turning off their cell phones and makes the entire precisely-scheduled United States air transportation system wait until they are done with their very important conversation.

@Phintastic: + 1 burn-out dad

Wow, he's already put 2,800 miles between himself and the City of Baltimore and is still running.

@theeschwartz: There would also be a lot of aggressive gum-chewing and liberal use of patronizing diminutives like "boss," "tough guy" and "champ."

I would pay good money to see Gene Chizik and Todd Haley get into a fight over a parking space or something.

Hotel California is one of those songs you get when the devil and a struggling songwriter make a deal. The songwriter probably hates it, anyone who hears it feels awful and hollow inside, and yet it inexplicably sells roughly 17 billion copies (see also - "How You Remind Me" by Nickelback).

@Sonar Jose: "What'chya major dude?? Oh I bet you read a lot of Gordon Wood, huh? You read your Gordon Wood and you regurgitate it from a textbook, and you think you're wicked awesome doing that and how about them apples and all that Gordon Wood business?"

Soccer players: they're just like us!

Only in the world of John Salley does telling a lie to some dude count as an "elaborate ruse."

Looks like the Greatest American Hero has spent the past 27 years drinking whiskey in Hades.

@Gottliebs Cards: +1

@bigbensweiner: Yeah, unless his dick is proportioned like a knitting needle, that story defies the laws of sexual dynamics.

Rich people are hideous.

I'm sure this takes the baseball writers back to their high school days of getting defanced and pushed into the girls locker room.

@Ron_Artesticular_Fortitude: Your ER doctor is in for a surprise when he gets a look at that perforated colon of yours.

At football camp as a young lad, we CBs were being coached by a short, white dude who had somehow managed to be a successful CB in the Big 8. He taught us at least 637 ways to fuck up a WR without drawing a PI penalty. CBs are some crafty bitches, you think they aren't going to figure out a way to put Brandon Lloyd…

@BobbyKnightChairToss: Damn.