Serious question: why does everyone say Duke fans are douchebags? Aren't they all really just dorks? Two kids from my graduating class in high school went to Duke, one was a computer geek and one was a drama nerd. Nothing I've seen on tv contradicts my assertion that they are just dorks. The DB tag has gotten out…

This isn't nearly as funny as Reebok's April Fool's joke that they're launching a shoe called the ZigTech, which is endorsed by Chad Johnson and looks like something Punky Brewster would be ashamed to wear.

Sometimes your modern ways frighten and confuse me. When we dropped gloves at the lacrosse match, I became scared and thought "must one of us kill the other to appease our bloodthirsty gods"??

From the looks of the guys in front of him, it might be U.N. Jefferson in back there.

Pacino's BIG "HOO-AH" VOICE.

I mean, Kevin and his friends were from Boston. The guy could have looked like Forest Whitaker and they'd still think he was Harold Reynolds. Or Omar Epps.

I hope that kid goes to Wake Forest.

Good Lord. Was your hotel operated by Robin Williams and Jimmy Cliff?

Just wait until he figures out he's right-handed!

I'm glad to see coaches in the NCAA are back to being salaried employees. Michigan's experiment of paying Rodriguez by the hour was a total disaster.

@norbizness: But people really despise him! He must be doing something right!

Like the AV Club declares albums to be "least essential," Rick Reilly is the least essential sports columnist. Not necessarily the worst, but least essential. I still get ESPN the Mag and skip his column everytime. Considering it takes 30 minutes to read that thing cover to cover, it's pretty bad if I skip…

Not having my bearings all set due to massive amounts of Irish Whiskey

@HockeyMountain: Hey, don't forget Joey Porter!

When reached for comment the chef who prepared Stenson's pre-round meal could only respond "Ski-doo. Bork bork."

@denki: Coors Field in Denver completely revitalized an entire city. But yes, most of the stadium proposals promise that and then end up like Nationals Park.

I think Seinfeld described the pillow as looking like a bandage from the Civil War.

We call that bringing the NOIse.

@David Hume: This is all well and good for later when you go to court to challenge the illegal search that put you in jail, but in the meantime, you will get fucked in the ass for trying this stuff in real life.

Random dude: "Really Drew, you're a writer? What do you write about?Drew: "I write about shit."Random dude: "Yeah, what kind of shit?"Drew: "All kinds of shit."Random dude: "Could you give me an example?"Drew: "Well, yesterday, a reader sent in a story about some shit. So I wrote about that."Random dude: "You don't…