That top photo is a UFC fight? In the scouts we called it "canoeing" and let me tell you, earning that merit badge was a real bitch. #mma

Dammit people. The only reason anyone thinks Simmons knows shit about basketball is because no one else writes about basketball. Sometimes I start believing that he knows what he's talking about, then he talks about my team, and I realize he's just as superficially informed and clueless as anyone else. Read his…

The only cracks I care about are the ones I dream of putting in Keith Olbermann's skull. #newyorkyankees

I work VERY hard at resisting the urge to post comments to blogs or news stories, and equally hard to avoid writing indignant emails

Hey! Those guys are right! Let's all rally to the defense of that gigantic, soulless, omnipresent and evil sports entertainment monopoly who hates us, ruins our sports and wants all our money! It's high time someone stuck their neck out for the WWL! #espnhorndoggery

@FEAST: Was it a full-body latte? #espnhorndoggery

Brooke Hundley, "a tiger hell-bent on clawing her way to the top."

Colin Cowherd raped me.

@ClintonPortishead: Everything about this post makes me Kind of Blue. #jasperhoward

Another unhappy test subject from the Whopper virgin experiments. #fights

Guess whose odds of suffering a hilarious mascot ACL tear just skyrocketed?

Whoops

Matt Luke, Andy Fox, Ramiro Mendoza, Mike Buddie, Mike Figga, Ricky Ledee

Good lord. Where are the ninjas? This place should be running red with commenter blood right now. #philadelphiaeagles

I do believe I've taken drugs while listening to this song. A lot. With the right music, taking drugs kicks a whole lotta ass.

In Brandon Marshall's defense, he has a magical gift for turning Kyle Orton pick 6's into touchdowns for the Broncos. #jamboroo

That goalie and I seem to occupy similar roles in our respective lives on this planet. #nhl

@tekamul: You played with Dre' Bly???

"Good game"

Somewhere, Cowherd is speculating on the cause of his death. And he'll totally be right!!