He would be foolish to pursue more money. He must be familiar with Matthew 19:24, which reads:

"Now, just imagine you're weightless, in the middle of the ocean, surrounded by tiny little seahorses."

@Tightlines:

Inside the seal suit?

I'm not as obsessive I think about it as as I was about it when I first started.

Getting a high Deadspin Media Approval rating has about the same positive effect on someone's career as appearing on the Madden cover.

And yet screaming that Sean Taylor was shot and killed because he was a thug gets Cowherd a four-year contract and an extra hour added to his show.

@Phony Gwynn:

What the fuck is your problem Punter? Go eat a nutsack salad you asshole. I hope you get diabetes and get your foot amputated.

Goodness knows if you want to call out an NBA player for not hustling and trying to win basketball games, it's Allen Iverson.

I've hosted enough terrible parties to know that when the Big Pun song you're playing is echoing around the joint, there ain't no one there.

Well, to disagree with Colin Cowherd's rant this morning that Duke players can't cut it in the NBA, witness Carlos Boozer, Elton Brand, Shane Battier, Corey Maggette, Luol Deng, Grant Hill, etc.

His bar tab at the 19th Hole must be astronomical.

Kadeem Hardison will definitely not be goin'a Sizzler after that one.

Can we really decry an entire fanbase and city for the actions of one despicable fan??

Deadspin comments: brought to you by Dr. Paul Ruth.

I thought it was beautiful. You honkeys need to check yourselves. I'm sorry, but Lee Greenwood wasn't available this particular day. Deal with it.

We have no idea whether bread eats away at your brain, because the powerful bread lobby keeps stopping my research - DrSpaceman007

I look forward to seeing if Zinger's plan to have our players smoke, get hammered and actually talk to one another works in a desperate effort to keep up with the Euros.

Funny, he uses the exact same words and reasoning I used the night the police forcibly removed me from Coors Field last year. I also "did not act in a threatening manner, nor step toward the officer in a threatening manner."