Next week will be Revenge, so while not light, it’ll definitely be cathartic.

Can we have a light and fluffy BCO next week? The last two have left me really depressed after. Humanity is doomed.

White people who are really fucking high and have a disposible amount of money but lack the sense that the gods gave oysters.

Wouldn’t free ketchup actually be commie? Charging for it is very American and capitalist.

So, a bunch of people are commenting with “I think this was dementia,” and I feel it’s incumbent upon me to note that at no point anywhere in this story does it mention that Livsey suffers from dementia. Not everyone in their 80’s does—nor does any part of this story actually sound like dementia to me. It just sounds…

yup. Our nine year old, as far as I know, hasn’t had anything to eat today but some corn chips and a banana with peanut butter, if he’s to be believed. (He was with the sitter today, and may have eaten and forgotten.) His older brother made him a cheeseburger, and had the audacity to put one leaf of kale and one…

We’re coming home along the Thruway and decide to stop at McD’s. There’s a woman and smallish kid in front of us getting huffy and I can tell this won’t end well. And in due time she starts yelling at the cashier, “Why is everything more expensive here? This is ridiculous! You’re ripping people off!” and so on, as the…

Many years ago, my mother said something to me (I think she got it from Dave Barry) that went “anyone who is not nice to service people is not nice, period.” I applied that rule to my dating life and it’s saved me countless unpleasant meals in the “embarrassed husband tips $50” vein.

Truly, malignant narcissists are…

My mother used to be a diiiiiiick to service people. It took my sister and I joining forces (which we never do) and calling her out on the fact that we’d both worked retail and food service jobs and are EXPERTS in what assholes look like to get her to mellow out.

My father is a malignant narcissist who messes with wait staff (and anyone he thinks he has authority over) for sport. I used to apologize profusely and tip like crazy until one day I realized that I’m an adult and I don’t have to go out to eat with him if I don’t want to...much less speak to him at all. So yep.

I don’t understand why people keep going to eat with awful people. Why don’t they just refuse to go? We do that in my family with difficult people. We don’t eat with them.

I used to work for a music producer who would get her power-trip stroked by sending back the food. Every. Single. Time. It didn’t matter what she ordered, where she was eating, or any other variable you can think of. This was just her way of saying, “I can bend others to my will” (probably because she wasn’t even on…

The cherry on top was walking back out after I locked my shit down and the woman’s husband was standing sheepishly at the hostess stand. He handed me a $50 bill and shook his head, saying, “I’m so sorry.”

I was half expecting the story teller to reach in the box, turn the sammie over and slowly put their sunglasses on while The Who just happened to start to play over the speakers, because that was my initial reaction.

I’ve always liked the name ‘Bob’ for that, because it fits any gender.

... The employee looked at the sandwich for a long moment and then just turned it around so that the chicken side and not the avocado side was on top. She placed it back in the box and handed it to the woman.

Doing so probably makes me mean, but I couldn’t stop giggling at “All hail Zeepmorp!”

How are this many people so new to the internet? And how did they end up on Kitchenette as their Orientation Day site?!

This is highly reminiscent of a FB message I received recently: