Afghanistan's offense explodes for moral victory

I was away for a few days and I noticed an increase in chatter about forcing MLB teams to spend. Focusing mainly on the Marlins and Pirates. I never questioned what got the talking heads a-talking and of course none of them mention the muthafuckinDSpin. Take solace in the fact that ESPN.com has far fewer "clever"…

My parents instituted "Masturbation Mondays". We all (parents and 2 brothers included) went into separate rooms to masturbate and the first one to finish got extra desert. The last one to finish got to wear the endurance crown for a week and have reduced chores.

@J-No: the belief that all that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him?

With their entire outfield on the DL I eagerly await the return of ManRam as well. Let's get the band back together. Whats Bill Mueller up to?

@ekap: I can take a dump on a glass coffee table, that doesn't make me a German actress.

I get the feeling there's a lot of aluminum foil curtains in this area

Piranha 3D is a left-wing corporate entertainment plot to make you watch Mega-Piranha, embrace the police state, stop having sex, and reject evolutionary theory

At least one of them is on 2girls1cup.com. and that makes them less connected to EVERYONE

will we ever learn to control the balls and the damage they leave behind?

When will we learn to conserve:

I hope someone checks me in someplace more fun than where I really am.

I feel like he's looking right into my soul.

a time/technology vortex created by that old ass TV being The Giz

@MrHaroHaro: Makes sense. Is that why they also don't serve good food?

@Rybones2112: No wonder that guy is lonely. His pillow cases don't match.

AJ told me some great Deadspin secrets but I promised to take them to my grave

"See this guy? This Guy right here. I bet this guy'd invade a country for me. I wish my son was more like him"

trying to recreate his time in high school by joining the Heat:

I feel cheated. we only had the He Hate Me edition at my junior college.