You'd think, since they vote by octopus in Iran, he'd be more appreciative after Paul opened the ballot box with Ahmadinejad's face on it.

What happened to his baby?!

For $600 I can just pay the neighbor kid (who is most likely to B&E) to spray himself in the face whenever he feels criminal intent.

There ARE some limits to DIY

@Rynocerous: Ty Cobb would agree, and add some racist comments aimed at Croats and such.

Mantle, too drunk to read on his own, has Maris confirm his STD test results.

@TheEasyButton @ UweBollocks: You guys are really Pola(n) those out of your arses. Did you just expect him to just come running back, coach?

@FavreFAIL: And since it involves USC, The Honorable Ito will preside.

From the Leatherman PST, to the Super Tool, to my current (years old) Wave. The Leatherman made life in the military a little easier. Brand loyalty is a silly thing, but this brand earned mine.

I want less reality in my TV, but more dimension in my movies.

didn't the ladies of Jezebel teach us anything? Nobody likes to look at a flaccid penis.

@JanetRenoManchild: The nation eagerly awaits the Bateman- Aniston (JasIfer? AniMan? JenAteman?) romance rumors

@Tiger-Fever: I wouldn't know, I only drink from disposable flasks (and write disposable comments), I do know I clearly won this round of Overreactionary Theatre.

@protonjack: That's what makes BP so great. Every time is like the first time.

@tehsquish: I wish I had typed in comic sans

@Tiger-Fever:No trolling, playful, just kidding around. You "joked", I joked. you:"this isn't good

"In this fall, I'm going to take my PARKING to South Beach"

@Tiger-Fever: I was looking for a funny pic. Your comment seemed like a set up for a funny pic. So you were referring to these completely biodegradable cups , and because you use the same substance in petri dishes, you associate these cups with the yuckiness you intentionally grow on them and still think plastic is…

Just yesterday I received a text from AT&T (we're tight) saying they received my "dropped call report" a month and a half ago and they have additional network capacity planned for my area in the next 60-90 days. Of course whenever I send a report the AT&T app says I'm a good 10-20 miles from my actual location, so who…

@DocHobo: The Terrorists. Have won