The fancier the name you give your kid; Paris, Sterling, Golden,the bigger douche they turn out to be. That's why I named my daughter Shallow Attention-Whore. She's gonna be a champ. And she will never want for donuts

it is sooo easy to make fun of this woman for being a fatty. But how many times do you think she had to "interview" Philips while he rehearsed his GM presser routine? You have no idea how much she has suffered (and then drowned her pain in an extra pint of Häagen-Dazs Chocolate Peanut Butter)

as a Bruins fan, can I still be bitter about what happened to them?

his jersey and the recording just earned a bunch of money for the gulf coast. bada- Bing!

just to show off, they started with this before they began the editing

none of these comments seem to be about this story. Peanutbutter

I actually lost a lot of weight by becoming a vegetarian. But I didn't stop eating meat because I care about animals. I loves to get my drink on and I had to cut calories somewhere. It's the Pistol Pete diet. He lived forever right?

dear Deadspin editors,

what a double standard! see the shit guys have to go through just to get a free drink! Women just show up and dudes buy them drinks and then get nothing out of it. Men have to humiliate themselves. On the plus side, if you Ice a dude, you can probably start asking him what he wants for breakfast.

my number one World Cup concern: is David Beckham still British?

@ArkansasFred: I hear it's fine as long as you shower afterwards.

@titansfan78: If you dont get arrested or a disease or slapped with a vomit condom then it was a good escort service

if Dusty Baker is not this kid's pitching coach by next year...

This is exactly the reason I had to move out from over the crack house, the brothel, the daycare...I finally had to just stop inviting Golden Tate over at 3am.

@MattinglysSideburns: But he did agree to speak to Aquarium Drunkard about the triangle offense and why he feels Gogol Bordello doesn't receive the credit they deserve as musical geniuses

The last straw was when she did this in the studio when Mike & Mike were on air. It is widely regarded as Colin Cowherd's best guest hosting job.

All I know about Bullfighting I learned from the book Ferdinand (made popular in the movie that distracted Bullock long enough for that guy from the show that makes trucks into other truck-like things to screw around with a Nazi)"And the Banderilleros were mad and the Picadores were madder and the Matador was so mad he

@MarkKelsosMigraine: but what did he lose for doing "analyze that" ?

@Stymie99: was that a comment about the sheer number of Jason Williamses or some rascist bullshit?! Like how every red headed prop comic is compared to carrot top.

A friend of a cousin of a td garden employee that knows the letter p, who grew up on the same street as the #3, will reveal that Dwight Howard told him that jameer Nelson admitted to him that he remembers going to school with delonte west. And he is indeed a motherfucker.