Holy fuck. PLEASE let this be true.

[head shot]

“Coughing Prevention Machine” gets me every time.

People need video. They shouldn’t and maybe a day is coming where they won’t, but this is the world we live in.

Something about that tweet hit my “I agree in principle, BUT” button and I couldn’t suss out what the “but” was. Thank you.

Correct. Cuban fucking loathes Trump, $5m is nothing to him (damn him to hell) and he wouldn’t care about essentially gifting that money to Trump if it meant hurting him in other ways.

Also, let’s assume Gary Johnson drops out and the ballot becomes Clinton, Trump and Hurricane Flag Metal Dude. He blows by Johnson’s high water mark and gets, like 20% of the vote, yes?

For what it’s worth, no state athletic commission would sanction an MMA fight between a multi-time champion and a hobo from behind the arena.

That was amazing.

That video should be required viewing every July 4th.

Oh, that I DO agree with, yes. Democrats tend to rally and coalesce when the time comes where it’s needed, but before they get there, there are a few different factions within the party that all have different (enough) goals.

I want to marry this photo.

As a nation, this is just kinda what we do. We give the presidency to one party, then give congress to the other party because THIS AIN’T A MONARCHY OVER HERE, PAL and then we botch about how the government never gets anything done and is useless.

Donald, you have work to do. Get off Kinja.

Opinion polls are worthless. Only the election day one counts. The rest are just there to create news coverage.

Pro Tip: You only need to say this once.

I’m in a weird place where I certainly don’t want people to report his latest (or latest-reported) abhorrent behavior, but I’m fully aware of the fact that we’re right at the point where everyone has already decided who they’re voting for, regardless of any infant-blood-related Satanic rituals that may come to light.

Hmm...

Bingo. It’s cool to not be excited about any of these choices. I’ll even go so far as to say it’s OK to abstain (I always do). That said, it’s an easy choice if you’re going to the polls.

Hillary’s not a great campaigner or good at on-her-feet interviews, but she paradoxically understands the game of politics on a 4th-dimensional level. She knew how the GOP would use and spin even the most innocuous comments she’s ever made publicly. That’s why she fought this.