I conte believe this.

The reason he was terminated is Clear.

The upside to all of this is that with a crappier record, they won’t be on TV as much and we won’t have to listen to that stupid....fucking....USC....march THAT THEIR BAND PLAYS ENDLESSLY AND DRIVES ME FUCKING CRAZY.

Sounds like enough to drive a coach to drink!

The over/under on Helton’s tenure is 5.5 games.

Diner: “Can I have the double bacon cheeseburger, fries, beer and the injured player walk-through special please.”

Waiter: “Would you like the special teams player injury or can I interest you in upgrading to a starter?”

Aw, I thought it would be about a hillbilly cannibal torture family! But I’m actually kind of into this too, sooo.

A friend of mine said she was using vegan butter and I was like, oh, you mean margarine?

Also, vegan cheese should not be allowed to use the name cheese.

oh god. who cares? for all intents and purposes, it’s milk, and serves every function of milk culinarily speaking. don’t get into semantics here.

I don't know how this writer kept her composure. I would have openly laughed at him.

My dream: 500 million children balling up the straw wrapping paper, sticking it in the straw, and blow-gunning it into the eye of the kid sitting across from her on the bus.

“We consume 500 million straws each day. The equivalent of 127 school buses filled with straws. It’s disgusting, ” Adrian Grenier declares the minute I sit down, brandishing a plastic straw that the waiter had forgotten to remove. “There should be children in those school buses, going to school, to learn, not straws,”…

One of those old standby theories on how to judge someone on your first date with them is to watch their interaction and tip to the server. Not surprised that he fails like the fucking douche he is.

As I’ve said before, both Matt McGorry & Adrian Grenier likely have dozens of dead bodies buried in their back yard. Watch out, ladies!

Anybody who "lectures" a waiter, about anything at all, is a tool. Give your order and shut up.

is he high??? please tell me he is high on straws??

In all fairness Stewart didn’t kill Newman so it’s a step up from his normal anger driven actions.

Randy Newman would have made short work of this since they have no reason to live.