pretty sure this is lifted from a Jim Anchower column.

I love that this guy woke up in a fucking stairwell and was planning on going to Hooters before even seeing the mascot costume. That's a fucking champ.

If that guy didn’t have weed on him, I would’ve been thoroughly shocked.

“I propose we build a Green Monster, AROUND AMERICA!!”
*Crowd erupts*
*Trump sheds single tear*

here’s a good one to start with

over the last 10-15 years we’ve seen a very big world influence in this game .

eh, cut him some slack; he’s just preparing to announce his candidacy for Republican presidential nominee.

I’m totally, totally using “You have antics” as a thing now. Especially with my three-year-old.

Whose disgusting minor league baseball chin is this?

+0.200.

Partying as a minor league mascot is Busch league.

Looks like he’ll be doing the Baby Elephant Walk in jail.

They at least should have taken the mascot head off before the mugshot.

He pretty much punked out Alfred Blue in Episode 2, after calling him for an additional rep on the blocking drill they were paired up on. I didn’t quite catch the first part of what he said but I caught the last two parts. He told him:

Didn’t the Yankees employ Paul O’Neill, who did this after basically every pitch?

The weird thing is, if the Yankees had shown just a little professionalism themselves, they probably wouldn’t have lost 15-1.

“You’ll regret pissing off your star player. I guarantee it.”

“Let’s take a rookie to get a makeover” is not journalism. Fuck you, pay him.

As much as I like the new Nolan 343 Guilty Spark impression, I still have absolutely no issue with Dinklage’s performance. He was given shit lines to say, and he said them as I expected a robot to say them; with just a hint of emotion. You can only do so much with bad/corny writing, and Dinklage’s deadpan delivery is…

Steve Sarkisian is the perfect representative of USC.