Bernie is not my favorite but boy do I love the look in his eye when he’s about to rhetorically obliterate someone. It’s cathartic. 

They also recommend putting a tube sock on the business end of the baseball bat so that if the intruder grabs it they get the sock but can’t take the bat. I’d suggest a generous coating of lube instead which will prevent the intruder from taking your weapon but also make him think you’re not afraid to go back to…

I love that he has no time for bullshit. I’m still a Warren supporter, but damn.

Reader’s Digest is a kinder, gentler distillation of Fox News paranoia.

I love Bernie’s little look when he knows what is going on and he knows he has Costa dead to rights

Louisville Slugger works better, and you’ll look less like a LARP reject.

Female Uber driver showed up. Caused the whole avalanche. Butterfly effect, man.

I've seen overbuilt gym rats wearing mesh tank tops with gigantic arm holes on planes. Essentially shirtless. They were white (orange, actually), and I assume weren't required to put on a real shirt before flying.

If you were Barron, would you ever go on the internet?

That Mychal-Jaxson dunk was quite the thriller.

I’m just gonna go ahead and say that Bernie should do what he should’ve done before he announced his 2020 candidacy (his 2016 run was fine—and necessary): Step aside for Warren, and be the elder statesman he’s earned the right to be.

Not everyone needs to be President. Shit, President isn’t even the strongest office in…

Bone hugs in harmony.

Applebee’s; you’ve made a poor choice in where to live, now make a poor choice where to eat.

Nativist appeals will always be popular (and always be incredibly ironic when issued by Anglo-Europeans to Anglo-Europeans living in the US) precisely because the “This land is my land, it isn’t your land, I’ve got a shotgun, and you ain’t got one” knee-jerk reaction is so goddamned strong in most people. You see the…

Nah, having a politician’s son with no expertise in literally anything other than being an entitled, out of touch dipshit is waaaay better. It’s more American, at least.

No kidding, couldn’t they use a 737 Max for Trump?

Just wait until someone tells him about cocaine!