Does anyone know what city Sam lives in?  I couldn’t quite tell by reading this column.

Mack is 27 and Cooper is 24. The question isn’t whether the Raiders would have made the Super Bowl this year; the question is whether the Raiders could have made a Super Bowl with them in the next decade or so.

A more important question is why Richie James Jr. doesn’t go by “Rick”.

They’re not contending this year or next year because they don’t have enough talented players. You know, like Khalil Mack and Amari Cooper.

Seahawks fans are the 25th hour in each day.

Yeah, maybe something truly horrid is coming down the pipe, like maybe he covered up for a serial domestic abuser for ten solid years.

On the third offsides call, it looks like the rusher was past the ball before Badgley kicked it. If he hadn’t gone offsides, he might have blocked it.

Like basically every rural area in the country, the UP receives far more in expenditures than it sends to the state or federal governments in tax dollars.

It turns out, to everyone’s surprise, that eating a shitload of candy and farting a lot isn’t the healthiest thing for your gastrointestinal system.

If only there were another option where he could attend school besides perpetually-mediocre Miami and QB-destroying LSU.

Not particularly relevant to the video, but man, those purple Lakers uniforms are fugly. Pretty sad for such a storied uniform to end up like that.

A stiff, you say?

“[Name] plays Dwight Howard” now means something else entirely.

Yeah. I didn’t watch the game, but based only on the numbers in the article, it seems like the problem is more along the lines of a defense that couldn’t keep the Eagles off the field rather than offensive playcalling.

Does this look like a man who has to wait in lines for food?

Huh, so you’re saying a QB on a 2-14 team had bad numbers? That’s totally surprising. Of course, if you’re only looking at numbers, you should also probably note that he was the most valuable rushing QB in 2014, and that combining his rushing and passing numbers bring his overall performance up to that of a roughly…

I can only imagine what kind of gas a reporter will give him.

We might need to create a new level of irony if Kaep is blackballed from the NFL for speaking out against racism, only to finally be signed by the team with the explicitly racist nickname.

THEY TOOK OUR JEREBS

It’s certainly no Cooley, alma mater of the esteemed Michael Cohen.