Patty I will do murder if you come for my fruits

“I think they might have legs man. Teeny tiny legs that we can’t see, not even with microscopes”

Griffin might surpass Howard in the Softest Players in the NBA ranking for this one.

True story - I went to Northeastern when Jose Juan (that’s what we called him in the good old days) was there. I got in an elevator at my dorm one day and he steps in beside me. I was a stoner and thought it would be douchey to say anything, and was high as fuck so I just smiled when he came in.

Warm body in case of injury to starting QB. See also Josh McCown, Matt Barkley, etc.

Do you know who else was once seen as a great leader who took over a downtrodden entity, turned it around, scored some huge victories, and was loved by tons of white people?

Yes, you’re right. It definitely is not a sports entertainment promotion featuring musclebound men wearing sparkly spandex costumes slamming each other around for spectacle. It’s some whole other, more serious thing.

Appropriate use of gif.

11th inning combination of bunt, intentional walk, sac fly to end a game is a great strategic way to end a baseball game IF, and this is a huge IF, the situation naturally develops itself that way.

No, it’s more like ejaculating on a candle, but the candle is actually your smartphone and the floor is lava.

No, like I seriously have no idea which one is the star.

Billy Bush

I didn’t bother reading it but I assume that to save space it said:

Hey! We found Tim Beckman!

Yep....in Champaign and not in the NCAA Tourney.

Same thing happens in NYC where Syracuse tries to pass itself off as the city’s team even though it may as well be in Canada.

I’m rooting for Northwestern because I had a Northwestern Starter jacket when I was a kid and it was awesome. Also had a Charlotte Hornets one. God, Starter jackets were seriously the greatest.

Somebody tell Zeke that he has to be 35 to run for president.

“...any number of different ways, and microwaves that turn into cameras, et cetera,” Conway said. “We know that this is just a fact of modern life.

I find Americans are notoriously bad at this. I remember when I lived in Thailand (IMHO Thai food is the best in the world) there were a bunch of Americans I worked with who never ever tried the food. They would just go to Mcdonalds or KFC everyday and they complained bitterly that there was no Tex-Mex. Way to be…