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After 3 weeks, Melvin Gordon tired of being a Sans Dinero Charger.

“Giannis is a player currently contracted to the Bucks that many say is very good at basketball. He is Greek of Nigerian decent. He recently played in the FIBA World Cup in China where he put the ball through the basketball ring several times in the game-meetings. He has two years left on his contract. Teams looking

The city of Milwaukee has offered the NBA $14,000 if they can find a way for all of this to “just go away.”

As they say, “It’s all just a game until someone gets hurt; then it’s a sport!”

I realize Kelsey’s new, and Megan’s at Jezebel, but you should have had someone show you Deadspin house style for lists. Because this really should have been ranked 1-14, with #13 “Getting hit by a copy of Infinite Jest”.

The most underrated band of the ‘90s was Poop Towel.

Let’s be clear, we all know on the list of Tebow’s skills “not fucking” is well above “sports.”

+30 pieces of silver

To be fair, I think if Jesus had it all to do over again, he would have liked to be paid for his troubles 

Wait, is this a Jerry Fallwell Jr joke?

More confidence than you’ll get from waxing the dolphin.

“Like bedbugs on your wedding day

“Did I see careers?  I meant career.  My career.  Fuck the rest of you.”

I think you mean a Sith Army Knife

In my opinion, we can never express our thanks loudly or often enough for the heroic actions of all the notaries who have sacrificed everything for this country.