The author of the Vice article just seems very immature: Numerous relationship partners did not meet your requirements, but you continued the relationship every time? She has vowed to never give another person oral forever. Forever is a long time, girl.

Society spends a lot of time telling women that we are extras in our own sex lives instead of a lead role. It doesn't shock me when I hear of women who spend years in relationships with little to no reciprocation.

Right? 'Oh no guys! I looked at the world's blowjob inventory and there are missing blowjobs! We counted them all! A few are missing. Why isn't this cat lady coming up with the missing blowjobs?!"

Hear, hear. Between severe anxiety, a recent bout of depression, and introversion, I'm a well known social bailer. I've finally just started explaining to my friends that, because I'm clearly a hermit crab in human form, some nights I just have to shell up.

I understand.

no she didn't

Ok.... but HOWWWWWW did he hurt his BACK because of the KILT? Would he have been fine if he were wearing pants? You did not explain (or he did not explain to you) how wearing a kilt contributed to the back injury, and I will not be able to sleep until I hear an answer.

I feel like my genuine social anxiety (so bad that I have panic attacks right before major events and vomit while in those major events

In college, mid-1990's, on not being able to hand in a paper the day it was due: "Uhhhh, I went to print it out at the computer center, but the disk I saved it on was corrupted." Real reason: I was such a stoner by my junior year that I showed up to class having completely forgotten not only that the paper was due,…

"Iraq has weapons of mass destruction."

A kid who was late to my class once said that he was helping someone out of a burning building. I laughed and told him to take a seat. You have to begrudgingly admire someone with the chutzpah to try to pull off such a dumb and blatantly made up excuse.

I was T-boned in a major intersection, by a woman who ran through the light a good 15 or so seconds after her light turned red. Her excuse? She wasn't familiar with the area. Had I not been in pain and disoriented at the time I would have thought to ask her what color the stoplights are where she lived.

I had a co-worker that would fake an asthma attack whenever he didn't want to work, this would happen about once a week. He also would refuse to dust any of the fixtures because of his asthma. One time he was in the (empty) break room and another employee walked by and heard him on the phone saying he was leaving…

My husband's excuse for not putting away the dishes out of the dishwasher: "I don't know where they go."

I tried to call in "ugly"once. I told my boss I had a cold sore that went wild and my face look very, well, damaged and, as the front desk person, I thought I should stay home. He had me come in any way, took one at look at me, and conceded that, yes, maybe I could have the day off.

It reminds me of this time some asshole asked a lesbian if she was gay because she was scared of erections. She said she wasn't afraid of anything that just needed a slap to go away.

Tucker Carlson will always be that douche who got owned by Jon Stewart.

Dolphinately.

I just finished watching the finale. Gonna go cry now. This was seriously one of the most genius shows on television and nobody watched it.

I want to be George St. Geegland when I grow up